Forbidden Delicacy
by Secret Sheik
Summary: Zetsu stumbles upon TenTen unconscious in the woods. What will become of this fateful meeting? Zetsu/TenTen. You heard me right.
1. Fascination

Another obscure pairing, I can't seem to stop making them. Zetsu/TenTen. You heard me right. No, I have NO clue where that came from. But this will be a strange combination of fluff and bloody stuff. Zetsu DOES eat people after all. Now for the disclaimer. You should know that I don't own the Naruto characters/universe. Enjoy the fic. Though this is NOT CANON it does have a specific time line. It takes place after Tobi becomes Deidara's official partner but before Hidan and Kakuzu are killed. White Zetsu talks in "Regular sentences" and Black Zetsu talks in "ALL CAPS". 

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Zetsu and TenTen: Forbidden Delicacy

Part 1 - "Fascination"

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Fresh blood. Zetsu knew that scent anywhere, it was a scent that always made him drool with expectation. For some reason, live prey disgusted him, and he really hoped it was dead this time. He preferred his meals stationary and easy. His enormous plant covered head emerged slowly from the foliage, creeping up on his prey warily. If it was still alive, he would just leave it alone. Keeping to the shadows, he neared the scent, glimpsing a still form near a waterfall. A young female. Was she dead? He approached her unconscious form carefully, checking for a pulse. No, she was still alive.

He mumbled to himself with internal conflict. "What should we do? LET'S KILL HER AND EAT HER. We should help her. I'M HUNGRY. We can eat later. I'M HUNGRY NOW! She's still alive, let's just leave her alone." The girl stirred as he was distracted by his argument, and she looked up at him, squinting and then eyes widening with shock.

"W-what the heck are you supposed to be?" Her eyes drifted down to his black cloak with red clouds. "Akatsuki!" She tried to get up and run, but fell back down. Her training had taken too much out of her.

Zetsu finally slipped out of his conflict, his white side gaining control. He held out his pale hand kindly. "Here, let me help you up. HURRY UP BEFORE I DECIDE TO EAT YOU."

She looked from one side to the other, not sure if she was hallucinating. Were his two sides actually differing in opinion? But with a gulp, she hesitantly took hold of his hand and let herself be helped to her feet. In this strange moment, she looked up at the large plant jaws enclosing his head, and she tentatively reached out to touch the sides. For a moment she couldn't say anything, and he was too startled by her forward nature to protest. As soon as her hand paused on the edge of the jaw, she finally spoke. "Beautiful..."

He was taken aback by this unexpected admiration. Most called him hideous, a freak of nature, a cursed, demon-possessed monster. Yet this girl, this enemy... What could she possibly find beautiful about him? He backed up suddenly, causing her to jump back with apprehension as he tried to comprehend what was going on. Better to do that later in safety. For now he needed to get out of here. He backed up further, but for some reason the girl had forgotten who she was facing, this S-rank criminal and cannibal. When he backed up, she stepped forward, peering closely at his face.

She put out a finger experimentally, brushing down the line that divided the two halves, curious about what he was. He hadn't tried to attack her, but suddenly she remembered that he was still an Akatsuki member, and therefore dangerous. She snatched back her hand with a touch of fear, but he didn't budge. He seemed so intrigued, and to her he looked so mysterious. Her strange curiosity overcame her again and she put her whole hand on the white side of his face, touching his skin, marveling at how smooth it was.

the girl didn't even scream, he thought to himself. Why wasn't he running away? Why didn't he just kill her? Something about her entranced gaze and her curious touch kept him there with rapt attention, gazing down at her with the same inquisitive intensity. For some reason his own pale hand reached out to touch her hand on his face, just keeping it there while he stared. Neither moved for a long, drawn-out moment, too inspired and frozen in the moment by their curiosity. It was a strange, silent pact of coexistence.

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A/N: Just a little prologue to see if people like this idea. If you do, tell me what you'd like to see next! If not, I'll leave it as one chapter and be done. Your reviews will determine what happens to this piece!


	2. Soylent Green

People seemed to be interested in part one, so I'll start part 2! Quite possibly the strangest pair I've had to do yet. Don't worry, it will make sense soon enough. As for the time line, it's after Tenten's team fights Kisame but before Hidan and Kakuzu encounter the two tails. 

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Part 2 - "Soylent Green"

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Tenten sat alone next to the waterfall, recovering from her rigorous training. The stranger from before had told her to wait here, though she had no idea why she was doing so. That man was part of Akatsuki, their enemies. Yet she hadn't observed any hostile action from him. Maybe he was a forced accomplice, a scout, or something else that didn't require confrontation. Maybe he didn't want to fight. She sat there painting another seal onto one of her used up scrolls, resealing a barrage of kunai inside.

The ground suddenly lurched and from her left she noticed the dirt curving as those plant jaws emerged from the surface, his whole body morphing up through the terrain. So that was how he managed to stay out of sight so easily! She watched with awe as he finally stepped free of the shifting ground, moving over to her side. Without a word, he knelt next to her and held out a small pink flower. It seemed a sign of peace and trust, so she took it gingerly and stole another glance at him. He was tall, ridiculously so if she took those plant jaws into account. Without them he was just a bit shorter than Kisame, though not as broad in frame.

After a long pause, she spoke first. "Why didn't you kill me?"

He turned his split face towards her. "LIVE PREY DISGUSTS ME. There was no need to attack you."

She knew he spoke honestly. Whatever the white half found tactless to say, the black half had no problem in expressing. No matter what she asked, he always answered honestly and completely. "Why did you come back for me? What good am I to you?"

This time both halves answered in unison. "I don't know."

If both could agree so readily, then he really didn't know why. His calm, predictable demeanor overshadowed the fact that he belonged to a group of criminals and she decided to get to know him better. Maybe he wasn't as bad as the rest of them. "What's your name?"

The white half smiled just a little. "I am Zetsu, and who are you?"

"Oh, I am Tenten..." She glanced at the slashed grass village headband around his neck, tilting her head curiously. What kind of bloodlines did the grass country have to produce someone so peculiar? But her thoughts went back to Kisame, the shark-like nin, and then to Naruto, who had strange whiskers. There were simply those who had peculiar but interesting traits. Maybe he had other bloodline traits? "Zetsu-san, you're from the land of grass? What... er... how..." She wasn't sure how to word this. It wasn't polite to ask him bluntly what sort of demon he was.

However, the black half was very perceptive. "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I AM? It's an expected question, really. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE ARE. No, that's a good point..."

She leaned closer, examining the two halves one at a time. "So are you a split consciousness? Or are you two different people?"

He waited a moment, considering. "Whenever I have a thought, I know the other half can tell what it is. I'M STILL HUNGRY. But as you can see... we both have different moods sometimes. YOU BETTER EAT SOON BEFORE WE STARVE. We just ate ten minutes ago. I'M STILL HUNGRY!"

"Oh! I might have something..." She reached into her pack and pulled out some trail mix full of nuts and dried fruits. "Here, you can have some if you want."

He stared for a moment, almost considering the offer. However, this wasn't exactly his usual cuisine. "I ONLY EAT MEAT. FRESH, RED, BLOODY... DAMMIT I'M HUNGRY! Relax, maybe we should give it a taste. WE DON'T EAT THAT KIND OF FOOD. We've never tried it." He reached out and took a small handfull, tasting it carefully. It wasn't bad, but it definitely wasn't the kind of food he needed. "Thank you, but I'll hunt later. I TOLD YOU WE CAN'T LIVE OFF THAT STUFF. It was nice to try..."

Tenten watched as the sides bickered with each other, convinced that each half was a different entity and yet somewhat linked mentally. She was about to say something else but he suddenly shoved her aside as a kunai flew where her head had been, his outer plant shell taking the blow easily. He shoved her behind him and faced a renegade band of cloud ninjas, prepared to take them on. Although he hated fighting, that didn't mean he wasn't capable. His skills in ninjutsu were well honed and he had no problem with using them.

His hands formed a few seals. "Ninja art, grave of thorns!" Spiked vines and thorny brambles curled around the unprepared cloud ninjas. Only three ninjas? They fell quickly under the shredding mass of plants and became little more than a bloody mess on the ground. It was almost too easy, but then again, they were cloud ninja. They were probably all lightning element users, weak against plant jutsu. Not to mention they seemed to be mere chuunin, going after Tenten and not expecting an Akatsuki member. What bad luck indeed. His black half was telling him how hungry it was, and for once he agreed. He glanced back at Tenten who looked less than horrified. No doubt she's already seen enough blood to not be repulsed by it. But just how much could she handle? "You might want to look away, miss... CAN WE EAT NOW? HURRY UP!"

Her eyes widened as she remembered what he said to her earlier. After he saved her, he had complained about losing a good meal. He eats people... She turned away, closing her eyes and trying to ignore the loud crunches and slick sounds of bone and flesh being devoured. But her curiosity always got the better of her, and she snuck a peek at him. Blood drenched the ground everywhere, the bodies a horrible mess on the earth. He was just finishing up the last of a leg, and slurped it down greedily. She couldn't help but shudder, yet at the same time it was fascinating. Something about it kept her from looking away.

He finished off the last of the bodies, blood dripping from his chin, to find that she hadn't looked away the whole time. There she was, looking straight at him with a calm, unreadable expression. Almost one of eagerness, wanting to learn more. Her open curiosity was what confounded him the most. It was almost like she didn't care if he was there slurping down an intestine, she wanted to learn everything about the world around her, disgusting or not. Maybe she was open minded enough to accept him for who he truly was. Maybe she could look beyond appearances and see what he always failed to see in himself. He might even learn what sort of creature he was if only she was curious enough to figure it out as well.

Wiping his mouth off politely, he returned to her side, kneeling in the same position as before. Neither said anything about the incident, but somehow he knew that she didn't resent him for being what he was. They were both quiet, inquisitive creatures, wanting to know more but not knowing where the answers may be. The silence said more than either of them could, and they both knew they could somehow search for answers together.

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A/N: I know it's short. I want it that way! I'll keep doing little short plot things for a while until I get a few more ideas. I'm still trying to get a sense of how they can relate to each other, and I think I've finally got it here in this chapter. Stick around to see what unfolds next, and please leave feedback!


	3. Disappear

Ok well... I'm changing the timeline a little. Ok, a LOT. Completely. I actually want this fic to tie in with "Sands in the Water" as far as timeline. In Sands, Zetsu is "missing" and nobody's sure where he went. WE know, don't we! Yes, he's coming upon a certain little ninja that looks like Taki. With that said, enjoy the fic and I do not own.

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Part 3 - "Disappear"

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Tenten watched carefully as Zetsu removed his Akatsuki cloak, glancing at it forlornly as he tossed it aside into the brush. The giant plant jaws grew only into his shoulders, leaving the body under his fishnet shirt untouched. Hesitating slightly, she asked him what was on her mind. "Zetsu-san... what's wrong?"

He looked back at the discarded cloak, then at her. "I can't find the others... AKATSUKI HAS FALLEN. We don't know that for sure. I CAN'T EVEN SENSE THEM ANYMORE. But... Yes, I guess you're right."

She looked at him with wide eyes. "Akatsuki is... gone? But how?"

He shook his head miserably. "I KNEW ITACHI WOULD GET IN TROUBLE. He really did bring it upon himself. AND THEN PEIN FELL. Yes, that's what really caused the members to scatter. I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO KISAME... He doesn't seem like the kind to follow Madara blindly. NO, THE UCHIHA WOULD HAVE TO FORCE HIM, BUT... NO, KISAME WOULDN'T BE THAT STUPID. Yes, he probably escaped somewhere. BUT WHAT ABOUT KONAN? No, Uchiha Madara is a powerful man, but not powerful enough to track her down now that Pein is gone."

Tenten tensed. "U-uchiha? You mean like Sasuke and Itachi? But... who is Madara? Aren't Sasuke and Itachi... the only ones left?"

He glanced up at her, then shook his head again. "NO, MADARA WAS ITACHI'S ACCOMPLICE DURING HIS RAID ON THE UCHIHA CLAN. Madara disguised himself as my subordinate to get into Akatsuki and control Pein. ONCE PEIN WAS DEAD HE NO LONGER HAD ANY INFLUENCE. The remainder of Akatsuki scattered... KONAN PROBABLY FLED TO KUMO. You're probably right."

She nodded and glanced up at him. "And what about you?"

He shrugged. "I CAN SURVIVE ON MY OWN. I've gone through worse than this, although... IT WOULD BE NICE TO FIND SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOU TO TALK TO... I agree."

She giggled, finding it funny that they could agree so easily about this. With a smile, she leaned closer. "Hey, you don't really want to live alone, do you? Are you really done with Akatsuki?"

With another shrug, he looked out at the river listlessly. "I don't care about Akatsuki anymore. PEIN WAS THE ONE I INTENDED TO SERVE. Now there's no other option than to go off on our own."

"Well... maybe you can go back to your village and ask them to take you in."

"THEY DON'T WANT US THERE ANYMORE. No, they definitely don't. Kusogakure would never take us back."

She looked down contemplatively. "I wonder if Konoha would take you in..."

He looked at her, both eyes widening. "KONOHA? Would they really do that?"

"Maybe. You're not with Akatsuki anymore, you're just a missing nin. Do you want to kill Madara? Maybe if you wanted to help... I bet Tsunade would understand. I think..."

"MADARA DESERVES TO DIE, AND I DESERVE TO EAT HIM. Yes, I agree. But alone, we can't kill him, we would need help. Maybe we should try to ally with Konoha. THEY WOULD NEVER WANT THE LIKES OF US. Why not? We know everything about Akatsuki. They'd be sure to let us in if we told them everything we know. YES, MAYBE... BUT YOU FORGET... WE ARE CANNIBALS AFTER ALL. WOULD THEY REALLY UNDERSTAND OUR... SPECIAL NEEDS? We wouldn't be eating Konoha nin. We would be eating enemy nin. There's nothing wrong with that."

Tenten smiled slightly, nodding at him. "I bet you could be used for special stealth operations that need bodies disposed of. You are... a little strange at first, but I bet they would be able to at least accept your abilities. You should give it a shot!"

"IT WOULD BE FREE FOOD... True enough. Alright... WE WILL HELP YOU."

She smiled, jumping up with joy, but then she remembered something. "Oh! How will we get you in? Could you hide outside the city until I come find you?"

"Sure. HIDING IS MY BEST SKILL AFTER ALL... We wouldn't be found too easily. When you come for us, I will ask you this: What did the blade of silver bring to the man? And you will answer: A bloody dawn. Can you remember that?"

With a nod, she reassured him. "Yeah, I can. Don't worry, Zetsu-san. I will do what I can!" As Zetsu morphed back into the ground, she ran ahead to Konoha, hoping Tsunade would at least listen for a minute. That woman was hard to convince sometimes.

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"You're telling me... that this Zetsu person wants to help us kill Madara?" Tsunade glared across her desk at the weapon master Tenten, not quite believing what she was hearing. "And he is... cannibalistic? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

She bowed politely. "Of course, Tsunade-sama, but if you provided him with enough missions to... sate his hunger... he would be perfectly safe. His allegiance had only been to the leader, and loosely at that simply because he was provided with plenty of... opportunities to eat. Madara had been posing as his subordinate for a long while, and Zetsu feels resentful about being lied to. I'm sure his motives are only to kill Madara and have enough to eat. He has nothing against Konoha."

Tsunade sighed, tenting her fingers in concentration. What could she do? They needed somebody with close ties to Akatsuki, and the spy-nin would be invaluable. His stealth abilities alone made him worth the risk. "Only if he is escorted into the village with a full ANBU guard. I want to meet him in person before I decide on anything final."

It was all she could do to keep from grinning. "Yes, Tsunade-sama."

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"WHAT DID THE BLADE OF SILVER BRING THE MAN?" Zetsu had been wary of the flock of ANBU guards around Tenten, but figured it really shouldn't surprise him. He was an S-rank ex-Akatsuki missing nin after all. The question he posed her would be enough to trust her.

She didn't hesitate. "A bloody dawn. See? I remembered after all!"

Her second comment is what really reassured him of her identity. "VERY WELL. I assume we're going to the Hokage personally?"

"Yes. She's just... taking precautions with the ANBU."

He nodded. "SHE IS VERY WISE. It's to be expected." Fully emerging from the tree he had embedded himself in, he followed Tenten and her elite guard into Konoha, wondering where all this might lead. Well, at the very least, free food would be involved!

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Tsunade stared at this strange beast of a man, wondering whether he was plant or human, not entirely sure what to make of him. "Tenten, thank you. And you... are Zetsu?"

Zetsu nodded, his white half wisely taking over for this whole conversation. He couldn't afford to let his rude half get them in trouble. "Yes, lady Hokage. I was told that you wanted information on Akatsuki. I would be glad to offer all I know if it will mean the end of Madara. He fooled us all, taking control of Akatsuki with the illusion that Pein was the true leader. Pein's ambitions weren't entirely his own, and his mind warped by Madara's words and possibly even the Sharingan." His black half came out unbidden. "THAT BASTARD DESERVES TO DIE AFTER WHAT HE TOLD US AND WHAT HE DID. Don't be so rude. I'M ONLY SAYING WHAT'S TRUE."

She stared with even wider eyes. What was with this guy? Did he have two separate minds? This was by far the strangest thing she had EVER seen. "Yes, er... Uchiha Madara is a powerful person, and any information you can give us would be helpful."

His black side got straight to the point, she noticed. "YES, BUT WOULD IT GUARANTEE SANCTUARY FOR THE TIME BEING? WE WOULD BE GLAD TO CHASE MADARA, BUT WE NEED TIME TO PREPARE AND TIME TO FIND HIM. Right, there is that... We would be grateful to give whatever information we can to gain sanctuary until the time is right."

Give sanctuary to an ex-grass criminal? Well... not that Kusogakure would even care. What would she do, make him a Konoha ninja? What would people think? Although, what he was offering was more than enough to justify doing what he wished. With a sigh, she resigned herself to the inevitable. "If you will tell us everything you know, and I mean every little thing, I can give you sanctuary. If you wish to do some missions that require your... unique skills, I would be willing to offer you a position with the Konoha shinobi. However, I would also require that you aid us in killing Madara. Is this suitable?"

His white side looked ponderous while his black side grinned manically. "WOULD I BE ABLE TO EAT HIM AFTERWARDS?"

Her eyebrow raised curiously. "Well... Yes, you may."

"THEN I WILL WORK FOR YOU. Yes, that would work well."

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A/N: Finally tying in Forbidden Delicacy with Sand in the Water! When the two fan fics actually collide, I will be telling it from the main couple's perspective in each fic, so it will be a little different. Please R&R, I know it's short, but I'm really tired so give me a break! 


	4. Blending In

Time to write part 4... whew. Hopefully it will go better than last time. I've been super distracted with the original fiction of mine, I really neglect the fan fiction. I guess I better stop whining and start writing huh? Enjoy. 

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Part 4 - "Blending In"

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Zetsu had trouble blending in with Konoha, to say the least. It's very hard to put a half plant half man person in with a bunch of humans and tell him to act natural. Heck, that was completely unwise. Fortunately for him, he had Tenten as his guide in the city, as well as his impromptu guardian when they had accidentally stumbled upon Neji and the rest of her team. Of course they freaked out. Of course they stared for five minutes without being able to speak a single word... That was... completely normal right?

After the initial shock of this plant... thing coming up and acting very polite and civil, her team had collectively swallowed nervously and introduced themselves. Gai and Lee actually admired the man's hefty green jaws, saying something stupid about the flowers of youth being strong within him. What a bunch of weirdos. Come to think of it, Zetsu fit right in, she thought to herself. A perfect addition to her perfectly dysfunctional team.

Not long after parting from her team, the two met up with Shikamaru. He had heard about Zetsu's arrival and looked bored as usual, just waving quickly at the plant man. "Yo."

Tenten smiled cheerfully. "Hey Shikamaru! Did you come to meet Zetsu?"

"Yeah. I remembered something important after Tsunade mentioned that Akatsuki was over with. Do you remember that guy Hidan?"

Zetsu's eyebrows raised with interest. "YES, I REMEMBER THAT BASTARD. What about him?"

"Well... it's troublesome, but I'm sure he's still actually alive. I intended to let him be down there for the rest of eternity, but I can't help but wonder if we should dig him up and see if he'll help us."

The black half grinned. "HE ONLY CARED ABOUT AKATSUKI BECAUSE IT GAVE HIM THE CHANCE TO DO MORE RITUALS. He might be willing, actually. He's probably resentful to Akatsuki for leaving him down there. YES, ALTHOUGH HE WAS A MORON, HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO TRULY COULD NOT DIE. It would be risky, but I could talk to him if you think it will help..."

He thought about this for a moment, then nodded briskly. "Yes, it would be best if you were the first to approach him. If we do reattach his head to his body, you could use your plant jutsus to keep him immobilized. We just need to find someone to heal him."

Tenten sighed slightly. "The only one around is Hinata. I'm sure as long as you tell her that we have the situation completely under control, she'll agree to help."

Zetsu nodded. "I CAN USE THE GRAVE OF THORNS IF HE GETS TOO TROUBLESOME."

Shikamaru smiled, tilting his head in amusement. "No doubt he will be. But if he screws up we can always just bury him again. Are you ready to go do that now?"

"I HAD REALLY HOPED NEVER TO SEE THAT BASTARD AGAIN. It's for the good of all of us. If we can get Hidan's help, Madara will only fall faster. TRUE... AND THE SOONER WE WOULD GET TO FEAST ON HIS CORPSE! See? Then we should do it. YES. I AM READY TO GO NOW."

Shikamaru was strangely not taken back by Zetsu's split personality, just nodding and leading the way to the Nara family land, the tall trees shrouding the meadows beneath. Along the way they met with Hinata, explaining the situation and taking her along to heal Hidan. Tall, lanky deer prowled the forests alongside them, unafraid of the intruders. Deep within the heart of the valley lay a large patch of broken stone and dirt, several broken strings and wires still lacing the upper canopy. For a moment none of them moved, then Shikamaru scoffed at the pile lazily. "Digging all that up will be so troublesome..."

Zetsu glanced at the rocks, then back at the others. "I CAN DO IT. Please stay back." Forming a set of plant seals, he summoned vines and tangled branches, the massive plants carrying heaps of stone along with them. He controlled some of the larger vines, having them carry piles of dirt and rock, tossing them aside. Before long he heard a curse and something along the lines of "stupid fucking light!" and he knew they had reached Hidan. "Ninja art, surging vines!" With a jolt, vines rose from deep within the hole, some curled around Hidan's body and the rest around the man's head. As soon as the head was clear of the hole, it glared at them, shouting loudly.

"HEY! I was trying to get some fucking sleep down there! What's the big-- Zetsu?" His violet eyes focused on his former comrade, looking both at the absence of the Akatsuki cloak and the shiny new Konoha headband around his neck. What was going on? Was Akatsuki over?

Zetsu curled the vines, bringing Hidan's head within view. "SHUT UP, IDIOT. Surely you don't want to be in that hole for the rest of eternity."

Hidan retained his dignity as best as he could in this situation. "Yeah well... I was just starting to enjoy it, seriously! What's the deal, anyway? Why did you dig me up?"

His black half sneered. "DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT YOU BACK, MORON? Akatsuki has fallen. You remember Tobi, right? He's actually Uchiha Madara, he's been controlling Pein the entire time. Now Pein is dead, Konan and Kisame are missing. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEND YOUR LIFE IN THAT HOLE, YOU WILL HELP US KILL MADARA."

Saying he was shocked would be the understatement of a lifetime. Things really went down the tube that quickly? Thinking it over, he really didn't care about most of that, but one thing bothered him. "What about Kakuzu?"

Zetsu's white side frowned slightly. "If I could find his remains, I would be able to revive him, but when I returned to the scene I couldn't find anything."

Shikamaru spoke suddenly. "You mean that thread guy? The ANBU took his remains back to their compound and have been studying how he was able to steal hearts and use them like that. How would you go about reviving him anyway?"

Hidan looked over to the new voice, his brow twitching. "Y-YOU! HEY! Was this your idea, to dig me up? What the fuck do YOU want?"

Zetsu curled the vines tighter around Hidan's head. "WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP? He's no longer our enemy. We all want to kill Madara. Don't you want to get him back for leaving you here to rot?"

The plant man knew well how Hidan's mind worked. "Yeah! Those bastards, leaving me here to do... whatever for all eternity. Fucking stupid, seriously. Yeah, yeah, whatever, alright? I'll help out. Killing that idiot would give glory to Jashin after all! Just put me back on my body and I'll join in."

Zetsu looked back at Shikamaru for a nod of approval and shifted the vines to bring both head and body close enough for Hinata to reach and heal. The girl was shy and probably blushing doe to Hidan's intense profanity, but Hidan surprisingly stayed quiet while she reattached his head to his body. As soon as she was done, she looked up at Hidan with a smile. "Are you... still in pain?"

Hidan looked down at her with a weird mix of incredulity and something that said "I'm fucking weirded out by you" but only stretched his neck experimentally and nodded. "Nah, it's fine. You do a much better job than that idiot Kakuzu ever did."

Zetsu remembered Shikamaru's earlier question. "Oh, yes, if we can get to Kakuzu's remains, we could revive him provided that you can get a heart for him."

Hinata spoke up shyly. "There are a few in the medical facility waiting to be transplanted... we don't need all of them. Would that work?"

Zetsu nodded. "As long as it still works, it should be alright."

Shikamaru shrugged. "Yeah, we can have a full ANBU guard around just in case. If you and Hidan can talk to him, maybe it would help."

Hidan sneered, his whole body still tangled. "We're gonna revive that jackass? Tsch... Does he still have to be my partner?"

Zetsu considered this, then nodded. "YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE HE CAN'T KILL."

"Yeah, fine, fine... just let me down. I won't kill you."

Although Zetsu freed Hidan, he kept a close eye on the man, allowing him to retrieve his scythe but making sure nothing went amiss. However, Hidan always kept to the scarce promises he ever made, and didn't attack anyone along the way back to Tsunade's office. The medical ward of ANBU was in the same building, located just beneath the Hokage's office. Tsunade had congratulated them on successfully recruiting Hidan, though she had been just as curious as everyone else how this whole immortality thing worked. She had her doubts about Kakuzu, and escorted them personally into the ANBU medical ward, a full fleet of ANBU black ops guards lining the walls. The Hokage NEVER took risks if they weren't necessary.

Zetsu and Hidan stayed closest to Kakuzu's remains, ready to attack if Kakuzu was unwilling to listen to them. Cautiously, Zetsu took the spare living heart and placed it within the shattered region of one of the masks, taking a moment to use his plant jutsu to repair the mask as best as possible. As soon as the mask was restored, the eyes glowed red, the heart suddenly beating a steady rhythm. His eyes glowed as he opened them suddenly, stretching to sit up shakily. The first thing he saw was a very dirty Hidan and he groaned. "Did I really bite it again?"

Hidan scowled. "Yeah, you you did."

Zetsu looked down at him. "YOU REALLY NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME. I haven't seen you in such bad shape in a long while."

Kakuzu grumbled with irritation, looking up at Zetsu's Konoha headband with confusion, then noticed all the other Konoha nin surrounding them. "What the hell happened?"

Zetsu grinned, holding out his hand. "I'll explain it all once you are rested." He grinned again as Kakuzu took the offered hand, looking just as confused as Hidan but knowing better than to attack in such a situation. What was going on, anyway?

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A/N: Woo! Just updating the fic to get both Hidan and Kakuzu back on the scene (They're not gonna go down THAT easy!) and get things rolling. Short, I know, but hey, I gotta get this up.


	5. Diets

Part 5, huzzah! Er... yeah, anyway, don't be too weirded out by this chapter. It's VERY difficult to have Zetsu in ANY kind of fluff situation, but I'll try! 

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Part 5 - "Diets"

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After a lengthy explanation, tense agitation all round, and eventual collaboration, Hidan and Kakuzu were given status as Konoha shinobi, provided that they both aided in the removal of Uchiha Madara and didn't kill anyone. For Kakuzu, that was a tall order, but with Hidan around to alleviate his anger on, it wouldn't be a problem. Tsunade called the group to attention suddenly.

"You may also want to know that I received word from Sunagakure. Kisame has been found and successfully recruited in their village, and is on a month long probation. Nothing personal, but I need to put all three of you ex-Akatsuki under the same probation. It's policy, after all, but we need time to prepare to take down Madara anyway."

Zetsu nodded. "Yes, I understand. HOW WILL WE EAT?"

She tensed, but recovered quickly. "Well... I can have some of our ninjas on missions bring back the remains of whoever they kill. And then... maybe if we bring some back alive for interrogation and their execution is ordered... you may have them."

He paused slightly. "I PREFER IT FRESH, BUT IT WOULD DO. She did say we could have the captured nins that need executing. YES, THAT WOULD BE PERFECT."

"Very well. And what about you, Hidan?"

The violet-eyed man sulked, but nodded haughtily. "Don't care. Just let me have a few of those executions too. I do have rituals to perform and all."

Kakuzu grumbled. "Hn... You and your stupid rituals. So after this month of probation, will we be getting regular missions and steady income?"

Hidan scoffed. "Always money with you, isn't it old man? Tsch..."

"Money is everything, idiot."

Tsunade cut in abruptly. "I assure you, there will be plenty of missions and income after your probation, as well as provisions for your livelihood in the meantime. However, don't lose focus of our objective. I need all of you to tell anything more that you may know about Madara so we can set things in order. I will also assign you your ANBU guards. Zetsu, since you know Tenten so well, I would like her to be your temporary guide. You have behaved perfectly since you got here, so I can remove your ANBU guard as long as she stays with you. As for you other two, if you can behave and find your own guides, I'll allow you to have the same privileges. All of you will report to me on a regular basis."

Tenten spoke for all of them. "Yes, Tsunade-sama." She led the three ex-Akatsuki and their guards out of the office, grateful that the woman had been willing to listen. Although, Tsunade was a wise person, despite the whole alcohol and gambling thing. She would be the kind of person to understand the advantages of having these ex-Akatsuki in the village, despite the dangers. It was a risk, but necessary to take down Madara. The old members of Akatsuki were thinking the same thing.

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Not surprisingly, Hidan had taken his pay and retreated to a bar, insisting on treating his guards- seriously, what the heck?- to a drink. What was surprising, however, was Hinata following after Kakuzu quietly. That's interesting... Tenten raised an eyebrow with interest when they had turned down the road towards the memorial stone, both staring at the rock with calm gazes. What was up with THAT? This also left her to entertain Zetsu. What did cannibalistic half-plants like to do in their spare time anyway?

"Zetsu-san?" She looked up at him curiously, noticing that they were now walking alone on the street. Did he scare everyone away? "What do you like to do when you're not on missions? Do you have any hobbies or things you want to do while you're here?"

He thought about that for a moment. "I DON'T HAVE ANY HOBBIES. Pein kept us busy with missions most of the time, there wasn't much to do between those missions except rest."

Which brought her right back to square one again. "Er... well, what do you WANT to do?"

"I DON'T KNOW. What would you suggest?"

"Hmm..." She thought over all the interesting places to visit. "Well, there's always the clubs and bars, we have a training area nearby, there's a great ramen shop close to here too. Any of that sound good?"

Another pause. "IT WOULD BE INTERESTING TO SEE THE TRAINING AREA. What's ramen?"

She suddenly burst out laughing. "Better not let Naruto hear you ask that! Oh man, he would have a heart attack! Ramen is REALLY good food. Maybe I'll have some for lunch after we go to the training area. I'll let you try some if you want."

"WE DON'T EAT THAT KIND OF FOOD. I'd like to try it, actually. ARE YOU SERIOUS? NOT AGAIN! We should at least be polite and try new things. FINE..."

With another chuckle, she led him to the training ground, talking along the way. "It's good to be outgoing once in a while and try new things." She turned abruptly to see that Zetsu had stopped in his tracks, looking at her strangely. "What's the matter?"

He hesitated. "Was that why you weren't afraid of me before? You wanted to... try new things, in a way?"

She smiled with a slight blush, nodding. "Yeah, I wasn't scared for some reason." Stepping over to him quietly, she put a hand on his outer shell, feeling the cool, smooth texture. "I really like the way you look, I guess."

Neither half of him could think of the proper expression to make. She LIKED the way he LOOKED? Nobody had ever told him that, not even the leader. The other Akatsuki had more or less ignored him, keeping their distance. Who would have thought that ANYONE would ever like the way he looked, much less this small female? It was a foreign concept to him. "You what?" Both halves spoke simultaneously that time.

She giggled just a little, still looking at him. "It's not that creepy, really. You just adapted to your habitat, right? I bet you could make all sorts of plants with your techniques, and most of the time plants can be beautiful! I wonder how many different kinds you can make..."

He hesitated, but gave a genuine smile. "I CAN SHOW YOU IF YOU WANT." Even his black half seemed to warm up to her slowly. "There is an interesting flower technique... it's not very useful except to disguise certain areas."

Her eyes widened. "Oh, that sounds interesting, please show me!"

With a nod, he formed one seal, his chakra being the main drive for the technique. "Ninja art, flower illusion!" The ground around them surged suddenly, grasses and flowers rising from the field. In a matter of seconds, the entire training valley was transformed into a flowery meadow. He looked at the jutsu curiously. "THIS IS ONLY USEFUL FOR COVERING UP BATTLE SCENES. I don't know, I think it looks nice..."

Tenten smiled out at the field, kneeling down and looking at a flower closely. "I had no idea you could make something so pretty, Zetsu."

He sat next to her, looking down at her with a pause. "NO, THERE ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL THINGS THAN FLOWERS." His glance didn't go out to the field, staying focused on her. She blushed self-consciously, getting the feeling that he might actually have been referring to her.

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For some weird reason, Zetsu LOVED ramen. He had been skeptical at first, but one bite of the perfectly flavored dish got him hooked. Keeping Zetsu well fed would no longer be a problem! All he needed was enough money to buy all the ramen he could eat. Tenten smiled across from him at Ichiraku Ramen, knowing that Naruto's favorite restaurant would now have a new regular client.

"I thought you'd like it, Zetsu!" She grinned mischievously.

He slurped down a noodle noisily, looking back up at her. "THIS IS DELICIOUS. See, aren't you glad we tried it? I MUST ADMIT SO..." His mouth twisted into a small grin, glancing up at the proprietors of the ramen shop. "THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN--"

Tenten interrupted hastily. "Zetsu! You might not want to finish that sentence!"

"Sorry..." But he smiled, just waving at the two onlooking clerks. "One more, please!"

She sighed, relieved. Saying that ramen was better than people would NOT be a good idea. At least he had something else he liked eating now. As soon as the second bowl arrived, she noticed that the owners of the shop weren't at all startled by his appearance. Heck, any good customer like him would be welcome, she supposed. For a brief moment, it almost seemed normal, sitting here and enjoying a meal in the restaurant, completely oblivious of who she was sitting with. Even though he had two personalities, she actually liked both of them equally. It was a strange to think that she was starting to like him.

Oh geez, did she really just say that? She mentally kicked herself for such a thing. But he was still human... right? Er... maybe a little? He DID refer to himself as a cannibal, which would mean he was essentially human. Maybe he had some sort of demon possession on him? That would explain the whole plant thing... and the divided personality... and his preferred diet... Yeah, she thought to herself, this was going to be one really weird month.

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A/N: Kinda short... but it does reveal another pairing I've had in mind. Yes, Hinata and Kakuzu. I'm also extremely tempted to pair Hidan and Tsunade... Want me to? I could write that too! Er... yeah, maybe I'm getting a little ambitious. Please R&R.


	6. Hide me!

I have really been neglecting this fan fic. Sorry! I've been kinda busy and distracted. Hopefully you'll like this anyway! I do not own Naruto, because if I did, this would totally happen.

By the way: The side pairings will be showing up now and then even if Tenten and Zetsu aren't showing up. However, I'll only be adding them if the conversation is interesting or amusing. Tenten and Zetsu ARE the main pair after all.

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Part 6 - "Hide me!"

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Hidan and Kakuzu joined Tenten and Zetsu inside the ramen shop, Hidan cussing profusely and Kakuzu trying hard to not lose his temper. Tenten waved at them energetically and they sat across the table from her. Hinata soon snuck inside, still as timid as ever, moving to sit next to Tenten shyly. The Hyuuga girl blushed as her eyes darted to the side, not saying a word. Tenten grinned and tried to get Hinata to speak.

"Hey Hinata, you're blushing you know! Don't tell me Hidan's cussing too much again!" Well, of COURSE Hidan was cussing too much, he was in a perpetual state of cuss. She wondered why Hinata wasn't blushing more than that with Hidan's mouth far exceeding a sailor's.

She only blushed deeper and sunk lower in her chair. "It's... it's nothing. I'm fine." Her pale eyes flicked from her to the others at the table, nervously darting away to glance at the floor.

Tenten sighed. Well, that was Hinata. At least she was feeling alright. She looked up at Hidan and Kakuzu, trying to make something resembling conversation. "How have you two been? You haven't been killing anyone, I hope."

Kakuzu didn't say more than "Hn..." and Hidan crossed his arms over his chest irritably. "He keeps slicing my head off every hour, why would he fucking kill anyone else?"

Kakuzu shifted in his seat, glaring at the priest. "You're exaggerating, idiot."

Hidan glared right back. "Why the fuck did I follow you here anyway?"

"Nobody's keeping you here."

His eye twitched and he stood abruptly. "Fine! Have nobody to take your anger out on for the day! I'm going to the fucking bar." He turned around quickly, muttering a stream of curses on his way out.

Kakuzu sighed with relief. "Finally..." Even the owners of the ramen shop had been shocked by Hidan's mouth and seemed to be glad he left. After a moment, Kakuzu spoke again. "Damn idiot, beating the crap out of him only does so much."

Zetsu looked up from his empty bowl of ramen. "IT'S STILL GREAT TO WATCH."

He chuckled lightly. "Yeah... If you ever want to see it again, I'd be happy to oblige."

Tenten found herself laughing at Hidan's expense. "He really does bring it upon himself."

Zetsu shrugged. "He really does. I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT AGAIN! Not in town... NO, AT THE TRAINING GROUNDS. Oh, right... Well... it would be good to see it again..."

Hinata summoned the courage to speak. "M-maybe... I can come too?"

Tenten's eyes widened. "Wow, you want to see Hidan get beat up?"

She stammered nervously. "N-no, it's... not like that. It would be... good to see his techniques and... and how he keeps living."

Kakuzu grinned. "Yeah, if you find out why, tell me so I can figure out how to kill him!"

Zetsu's black half smirked. "WE ALL KNOW YOU WOULDN'T REALLY KILL HIM."

He shrugged. "I might if he keeps up like that. Moron... His religion doesn't bring in any funds whatsoever, I don't know why I bother with that."

His white half made a dismissive motion with his pale hand. "Money is just money, you can't expect him to understand anything that doesn't involve his deity."

Tenten watched the conversation with rapt attention, marvelling at how... normal this seemed. If having ramen with a bunch of ex-criminals could be considered normal. Then again... compared to the usual company SHE kept... yeah, this was normal. She was about to sit back and enjoy the conversation, but of course she wasn't given such a nice opportunity. The curtains of Ichiraku flew open suddenly as Gai and Lee burst into the small restaurant, not yet noticing the booth holding their teammate. Lee jumped up and down with excitement. "I DID IT GAI-SENSEI! The power of youth triumphs over all!"

Gai gave Lee a thumbs-up as his teeth gleamed, grinning down at his young student. "NICE WORK LEE! But next time we have to make it in only THREE seconds or we will do 500 laps around Konoha on our hands while holding buckets full of water with our feet!"

Lee gave a salute. "YES GAI-SENSEI!"

Tenten sunk down in her seat. "Oh geez... please please please don't see me please!"

Kakuzu looked at the new pair, an anime style sweatdrop falling down his face. "Who are those two idiots?"

She frowned, sinking further down. "My teammates... unfortunately."

He stared at her for a moment at her, then back at Gai and Lee who had gone back to challenging each other to new, ridiculous stunts. "So that's why you can tolerate Hidan so well."

She covered her head with her arms. "Geez... I just hope they don't see me!"

Zetsu glanced down at her. "WOULD YOU LIKE TO DISAPPEAR? Er... sorry, he didn't mean it that way. I can help you escape."

She slunk closer to him desperately. "YES PLEASE!"

He grinned and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side as he phased through the ground, taking her with him. The trip seemed to take place in complete darkness, but Zetsu knew his way through Konoha by now and they phased through to the training grounds, still covered by the field of flowers. In some areas, the flowers had recently been torn, showing that a battle had taken place. He looked out at the marks in the dirt, examining them closely. "THAT'S ODD... What is it? THESE MARKS BELONG TO HIDAN'S SCYTHE. I thought he went to the bar. APPARENTLY NOT."

Hidan's voice suddenly sounded from across the field. "Crazy bitch! Are you TRYING to kill me? It's not going to work!"

A female voice sounded from the same region. "Shut the fuck up!" The ground rumbled suddenly and split apart as the kunoichi's fist made contact with the ground. Tenten stood to see over the field of flowers as Tsunade finally made contact with Hidan's chest, sending him flying just inches over Zetsu's head. The lady Hokage peered down the field, approaching Tenten and waving apologetically. "Sorry, didn't see you there."

Zetsu helped Hidan to his shaky feet, trying to revive the priest as he greeted Tsunade. "Good to see you, lady Hokage. WHAT WERE YOU DOING OUT HERE?"

Tsunade had since become accustomed to Zetsu's odd way of being vague and blunt at the same time. "Well, I WAS going to train by myself but that idiot decided to help!" Her finger pointed at Hidan accusingly.

Zetsu glanced down at Hidan briefly. "AT LEAST YOU WON'T KILL HIM."

"Oh well. It was worth a shot. Geez..." She glared down at Hidan's still barely standing form, muttering under her breath. "Just as stubborn as Orochimaru."

Zetsu tensed at the mention of the old teammate. He made a disgusted sound. "The snake sannin? DISGUSTING... All that vomiting and hiding in snake bellies... HE MADE ME SICK."

Tenten's eyes widened. How amusing it was to see someone like Zetsu describing Orochimaru as disgusting! "You must be used to that kind of thing, though. You eat people after all..."

He looked even more disgusted. "I DON'T THROW THEM BACK UP! He really was a sickening person. I don't know how Sasori put up with it."

Hidan had finally managed to wake up in time to hear the talk about Orochimaru. "That fucker was one sick bastard. Always looking at little kids like they were his next meal. He probably would have barfed them up too if he ate them."

Zetsu made a completely sickened face. "SHUT UP! Please stop, Hidan, I really don't want to think about it anymore."

"Tsch..." He gave in on not talking about barfing, but not about Orochimaru. "He wouldn't even listen to me! I kept trying to save him in the name of Jashin, but was he grateful? NO! Did he want to be given true immortality? NO! Stupid scale head."

Tsunade looked at him with interest. "Is that how you got immortality? Someone did a ritual for you? Interesting..." She peered closely at his recently stitched-on head. "And if your head gets cut off, it can be sewn back on..." Everyone on the field could see the medic-nin wheels turning in her head.

Zetsu let go of Hidan unceremoniously, letting him fall to the ground with a thud. Hidan glared up at him. "HEY! What was that for? Fucking flytrap..." His eyes widened slightly as Zetsu drew a kunai seemingly out of nowhere, slicing Hidan's head off, grinning as the decapitated head launched streams of curses in his general direction.

Tsunade's eyes widened, the gears turning faster than ever. "Oh, I see! It sure makes quite a mess, but he's still alive..."

Zetsu grinned at Hidan's expense. "He won't be able to move without his head attached to his body. NOW YOU CAN STUDY THIS FIRST HAND." He started to walk off the field, watching as Tenten snickered before following after him, both knowing that this would be an interesting day for all people involved.

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A/N: I know I didn't write a whole lot. Please don't be too mad! I really needed to update this, I was on spring break for a while and I wanted to get the side pairings moving a little bit. Meh.


	7. Kumogakure

Well, this fan fic wins the prize for "Most neglected" in my list. Sorry people. I'll try and update it a little more if I can.

* * *

Part 7 - "Kumogakure"

* * *

Zetsu and Tenten stood precariously on the edge of the cliff, looking out beyond the border between neutral territory and the cloud country. Low, dense clouds clung to the tall mountains, the overcast sky shedding minimal light in the midday hour. In the deep valleys, bamboo forests and marshes led to dense shrubbery and wiry trees as the mountains grew taller. Small, ancient trees covered the driest parts of the woods where they waited, trying to find Konan. None had heard anything about the blue haired kunoichi since the leader died. Only Zetsu was certain she was still alive. In the distance, he sensed her presence.

"SHE IS STILL ALIVE. Yes, I can sense it too. SHE WENT HERE FOR PROTECTION... She won't get much protection if Madara decides to look for her too."

Tenten nodded hastily. "All the more reason to find her before he does."

Both sides seemed to agree on this and he focused his amber eyes out into the distance, his senses straining to pinpoint her exact location. "TOO LATE. Do you sense him? BARELY. Then he probably captured her already. WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY DO WITH HER? SHE IS MENTALLY UNSTABLE AS IT IS. He should have no use for her."

She looked at him nervously. "A hostage."

Both of his hands clenched with anger. "SHE'S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH ALREADY! Madara has gone too far."

She quickly put her hand on his shoulder. "Calm down. We won't get anything done if we don't focus. What he did was... horrible, but we need to think of a plan." Her slight figure rested nervously on her arms, laying close to the ground to prevent detection. "Do you think he'll fight us if we surprise him?"

He thought carefully before shaking his head. "He shouldn't. His skills rely mostly on evasion. IF WE SURPRISE HIM FAST ENOUGH, HE WON'T HAVE TIME TO REALIZE WE ARE ALONE. Should we use that jutsu? IT WILL HAVE TO WORK." His hands cooperatively formed a series of hand signs, several plant entities sprouting from his body. Each odd clone did a quick transformation seal and each turned into the likeness of other Akatsuki members. Zetsu pulled his old Akatsuki cloak out of his pack and soon it appeared that Kisame, Hidan and Kakuzu were on their team. "AS LONG AS HE IS TOO FRIGHTENED TO RECOGNIZE THIS JUTSU, HE WILL FLEE IF WE SURPRISE HIM."

"Right. That will give us enough time to retrieve Konan." She put her arm around his waist, preparing to shift through the ground. By now, she was fairly used to this form of transportation, though it still felt a bit odd. His black hand surprisingly touched her waist as he sunk through the ground, keeping her close as he shifted past the outer walls of Kumogakure. They kept their chakra well masked as they phased just under where Madara and Konan were, and Zetsu paused in his shifting to listen to their conversation.

"L-Let go of me!" A small thud sounded. She was trying to resist.

"No, I can't do that, you are still such a weakling, you don't even know how to submit to those better than you." Madara's low, silky voice sounded so arrogant...

At once, Zetsu's clones broke down the door, his own form sliding up through the tatami mats. As expected, Madara had a kunai to Konan's throat, though he dropped it the moment he was surrounded. In his haste and surprise, he disappeared completely, vanishing into thin air as a result of his sharingan's special attributes. One of Zetsu's clones quickly grabbed Konan, knowing he wouldn't have time to explain, and all of them shifted into the ground as fast as they dared, fleeing to the border. Tenten had never felt him shift so FAST through the ground like this! The vertigo caused by the turns was disorienting, but to her merit she didn't find herself getting sick.

While they fled, his other clones phased towards him, returning to his body. They didn't stop until they passed the border into neutral territory. The area they stopped at was much further north than before. Here they masked their chakra, making it look like they went west to Iwagakure instead of south to Konohagakure. Zetsu had even thought to hide both his and Tenten's ninja headbands, making their origin ambiguous. He was truly a master of deception. She couldn't help but be impressed by his skill.

They walked south after they covered their tracks, and Zetsu released his one remaining clone that held Konan captive. As soon as they covered enough distance, he had her sit down while he explained the current situation. She only looked down demurely while he spoke, apparently glad for the rescue but still deep in depression. Once all was explained, his white hand went to her shoulder supportively. "Don't worry, Konan. We have the support of Konoha now. AS WELL AS SUNAGAKURE. He has nothing left."

Tears ran down her face as her low voice sounded quietly. "Haven't I been through enough? All I wanted to do was get away, and he... he just..." She stopped, unable to even think.

Tenten also put a hand on her shoulder. "You were the only one left that he knew about. He was desperate. We'll protect you now, Konan." She helped the blue haired kunoichi to her feet, knowing they needed to travel fast to keep ahead of Madara. The sun was sinking slowly in the horizon and she wanted to be halfway through neutral territory before they even stopped. What had Madara put her through before they found her? Had he just found her as well? For her sake, Tenten could only hope that was so.

* * *

Night fell as they stopped halfway through the neutral territory, the dark, cloudy sky threatening to rain. They sat in a small circle around a low fire, Tenten next to Zetsu and Konan across from them. Zetsu found their set of tents, sealed in one of Tenten's scrolls and erected them while the fire slowly crackled. None seemed eager to move, even though the rain started to pour from the sky. Water flowed down Konan's face to mingle with fresh tears, the soft shower reminding her of the man she lost. If he saw her crying in the rain, he would part the clouds for her and tell her not to cry. Now he wasn't here to dash away the sorrow.

Tenten shivered from the cold, though she didn't move to escape to her tent. Something made her reluctant to move, though the cold was slowly seeping through her clothing. Zetsu angled his jaws slightly, the rain flowing off the plant's slick sides and away from her. She leaned a bit closer, glad for the impromptu shelter. Konan's eyes flicked to the pair curiously, no doubt wondering what exactly was going on. She assumed that she would be sharing a tent with Tenten, but now it didn't seem to be the case. Were those two together? How on earth did THAT happen? She didn't even know Zetsu could even care about anyone beyond casual acquaintance. Yet somehow it had happened.

Zetsu put his cloak over Tenten's shoulders and moved her to a tent, seating himself outside while he took the first watch. "Konan, you should get some rest. LET US TAKE THE WATCHES WHILE YOU SLEEP."

Konan nodded and stood silently. "Alright, thank you." She moved to the other tent, glancing once more at the rain as it fell on her face. It was a solemn reminder to her, a small comfort to her heavily damaged heart.

* * *

Only a few days later, Konan woke to have yet another sharingan blaring across the room at her. She tensed suddenly, but relaxed when she saw that this wasn't Madara. After reaching Konoha, she had been transferred to a small room in the hospital, and was told she would be questioned today. She understood the importance of proper questioning, though she had been relieved when they told her that they would much rather have her comply willingly. Today, the copy nin Hatake Kakashi had been called to question her, his sharingan enough to detect if she was lying. His laid-back personality and calm voice would be far preferable to Ibiki's rough handling, or so Tenten had advised Tsunade.

"Your name is Konan, right? How long have you been with Akatsuki?" His relaxed behavior immediately settled her nerves.

She glanced up at him warily, instinctively avoiding looking into his sharingan. "I have been with Akatsuki for a very long time, since I was a child." When she glanced up again, she could tell he was smiling, though his mask never gave that away. "I don't know exactly how long."

"I know this is hard, but can you tell me more about your partner? What relationship did you all have with Madara?"

She squinted, memories of Pein being difficult to remember. "Madara was the one that recruited us. Before that, we weren't shinobi at all, we were just kids trying to survive in Amekagure. One day, Jiraiya and his team found us, and he taught us the basic ninja arts. After he left, Madara came to us. He filled our heads with lies about making the world a better place and it being destiny that we were born and found. It sickens me to think about it."

He nodded sympathetically, knowing that she wasn't lying even with the help of the sharingan. If she truly was one of Jiraiya's students, Tsunade would want to meet her soon. "Do you know how it is that Madara is still alive?"

She shook her head briskly. "I have no idea."

With a sigh, he continued. "Do you mind if I allow Tsunade to come see you?"

"No, that's alright." She knew what he meant. After the loss of so many fellow members along with the man she loved, she was a mental wreck. Not to mention being captured by Madara and almost tortured. At least Konoha was gracious enough to question her kindly. Not like giving information would endanger anything. She had nothing left to lose but her sanity.

"Alright, I'll come and ask you a few more questions later if she says you check out." He turned to glance back at her, moving his headband down over his sharingan eye. "You don't need to worry, we won't torture you for information."

She nodded and allowed a small smile to grace her lips. "I don't think it would have worked anyway. The pain would be nothing to me."

He nodded solemnly and turned to leave. "Yes... I know."

* * *

Tenten and Zetsu were out on the training field watching Tsunade beat up Hidan (again), which had apparently become her new form of entertainment. Who better to use as a practice dummy than one who couldn't die and one that knew how to anger her enough to get her to test that theory? She executed a perfect heel-drop to his head, the chakra imbued blow fatal to anyone else.

"HEY! Watch it, you evil bitch! You almost took my fucking head off!"

"That's the point, you bastard!" She sent a flurry of chakra enhanced punches to his midsection, though he retaliated with a few of his own. He had agreed to fight without his scythe, relying only on hand to hand combat. After all, Tsunade could die, and it would cause more than a few problems if he did anything more serious. Fortunately Tsunade was a medical ninja, and managed to heal whatever he caused during their battles. They broke apart suddenly, both out of breath.

"Crazy bitch..." He released his stance, tired out for the moment and moving to sit next to Zetsu. Tsunade flopped down across from them and grinned, healing a large bruise.

"Call me whatever you want, I can still match your punches every time." She let out her breath in a sudden sigh. "Normally I never get a good workout. Seriously, the men around here just take one look at the heel drop and faint."

Hidan stretched his neck to release the soreness. "That's because you would fucking kill them if you even did so much as flick them on the forehead!" He was interrupted by a silver haired ninja walking across the field, bright orange book in hand and Konoha headband covering one eye. Kakashi glanced up from his book and waved.

"Yo. Tsunade-sama, I'm through for now. She's willing to let you examine her."

Tsunade's look grew serious. "Is she doing alright?"

He quietly put his book away. "Only physically."

She rose and passed by him. "Alright, I'll go talk to her." With a nod to the copy nin, she disappeared from sight.

Kakashi turned to the rest of the group. "Konan will be alright soon enough."

Zetsu sighed audibly. "She's been through too much. WE HAD TO BRING HER BACK THOUGH. Yes, who knows what Madara put her through. ALL THESE UCHIHA ARE GETTING TROUBLESOME."

Tenten nodded sympathetically. "I wonder if Sasuke will ever come back."

He shrugged. "NOW THAT ITACHI IS DEAD, WHAT MORE COULD HE POSSIBLY HAVE LEFT?"

Hidan rose abruptly. "This is all so fucking confusing. I'll see you later." He turned his back on them, waving absently as he exited the field.

Kakashi also turned to leave. "I don't know about Sasuke. I don't even know if he would be forgiven even if he did come back. He allied with one of Konoha's greatest enemies, after all. He might not be able to come back." With one last shrug, he too left the field, leaving Tenten and Zetsu alone to discuss this.

"He has a point. YES, A TRAITOR CAN'T ALWAYS BE FORGIVEN. True, but look what happened to us. YES, IF THEY CAN FORGIVE AKATSUKI, PERHAPS THEY CAN FORGIVE SASUKE."

She glanced up at him nervously. "It's a little scary, isn't it? Pretty soon, I'm sure Madara will come looking for Konan. If he finds her... I don't want to think about what he will do to Konoha."

He frowned. "HE WILL DESTROY KONOHA IF HE CAN. Yes, he will finish what he started. EVEN WITHOUT THE KYUUBI THIS TIME, HE WILL BE A MAJOR THREAT. Still, he doesn't have the Kyuubi this time. And even when he did, he was stopped."

Her eyes widened. "He was behind the Kyuubi attack on Konoha?"

"YES, HE WAS. And who knows what he is capable of this time. EVEN I DO NOT KNOW ALL THAT HE IS CAPABLE OF."

She edged closer to him. "He could control the Kyuubi... I'm really scared for Konoha. This is my home, we can't let him destroy it!"

He nodded and put his pale hand around her, pulling her closer. "DON'T WORRY, I DO KNOW SOME OF HIS WEAKNESSES, AS FEW AS THEY ARE. I won't let him take Konoha. NO, WE WILL FIGHT HIM." His hand lingered on her shoulder and he wondered why he felt so strange about her. There was a hunger inside him, but it wasn't the usual hunger that he held for human bodies. This was something new and surprising, almost a hunger for something other than food. This was something he had never felt before, a complete mystery to his senses.

* * *

A/N: Finally updated this. GAH! Well, hope this lasts you til Detour is over. Yay for cosplaying as Pein! DETOUR AHOY!


	8. Regarding Love

Yeah, this fic is definitely winning the prize for most neglected in my stash. I was busy finishing Mind Thief and I was mentally overloaded by the fact that I was finally done. Well, you Zetsu/Tenten fans will hopefully forgive me once you see this chapter. It has also come to my attention that it is "Kusagakure" not "Kusogakure" because the latter would be "Village hidden in the Shit" and uh... well, although Grass country isn't impressive, Zetsu wouldn't appreciate it and he would probably hurt me if I didn't fix this. The side pairings will show up a bit more, though I'll focus on one of them a bit more.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, Akatsuki would probably win and kill that overly emo Sasuke and shut up Naruto's endless speeches about bonds.

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Part 8 - "Regarding Love"

* * *

The two walked towards the medical tower to meet up with Konan later the next day. Above in the sky, the cloudless blue brightened the town scene all around them, civilians and shinobi alike bustling through the streets. Even now, Zetsu received peculiar stares. He had probably gotten used to it long ago. Tenten glanced at him out of the corner of her eye as she walked beside him. "Hey, I forgot to ask... How old are you?"

He seemed a bit puzzled by this question, but both halves answered the same. "I don't know."

Her brow furrowed slightly, wondering how he couldn't even know his age. "Well... How far back do you remember? Do you remember when you joined Akatsuki?"

His look turned grim. "THAT DAY... It was so long ago now. YES, WE FOUND MADARA PASSED OUT IN THE WOODS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE SOUND COUNTRY AND KONOHA. Yes, the Valley of the End, if I remember right. YES, THAT WAS IT. We really shouldn't have saved him that day. IN RETROSPECT, IT WAS A BAD IDEA. WE SHOULD HAVE EATEN HIM, LIKE I TOLD YOU TO. I'm sorry..."

She interrupted his internal struggle. "Don't blame yourself. You showed him compassion, though he really deserved none. It was..." She glanced down as she blushed slightly. "It was a bit like what you did when you found me, you know."

He nodded once, remembering how it had been that he came across her, that weird hunger rising up again in the pit of his stomach. "I suppose it was." They arrived in the courtyard outside the hospital where Konan had been spending the day. She had been deemed perfectly healthy, but she still needed time to heal her emotions and often sat outside to think. The blue haired kunoichi was sitting at a plain table across from a man with silver hair, and from this distance Tenten noticed that it was Kakashi. They were talking and even laughing about past missions and other exploits their companions had been through over the years, and as soon as Tenten and Zetsu approached, Konan even smiled.

"Hey, what have you two been up to today?"

Tenten smiled and sat next to her. "Not much, we were just going to see how you were doing. We don't have any missions for a little while, so I guess it will be boring until then."

She stared down into her cup of tea. "Boring isn't so bad sometimes."

Tenten finally asked what she really wanted to know. "Konan-san, are you feeling better?"

She hesitated visibly, but nodded after a moment. "Some times are harder than others." Her eyes drifted up to the cloudless sky. "Today isn't as bad, but when it rains..."

Zetsu nodded understandingly. "It's hard for all of us."

"It will... get better eventually. I'm sorry, I don't really want to talk about it yet."

"WE WILL LEAVE THEN. It was good to see you again, Konan."

Tenten also waved goodbye. "Hope you feel better soon." She gave the woman a kind smile, not knowing just how deep Konan's wounds truly were. They left silently, walking down the long, busy street with no real destination in mind. Maybe she would go out to the training field again and spar with him. Zetsu was still so much of a mystery to her and she wondered what kind of interesting techniques he could use.

As they walked down the less crowded side street leading to the training field, she was suddenly bombarded by a torrent of water coming from the alley. Her eyes narrowed with rage as a very frightened Konohamaru twitched at his mistake. Oh crap. Yeah, this kid was dead! She ran after him yelling about watching where he was going and who he was doing such things to before losing him and returning red-faced back to Zetsu. He glanced down at her vacantly and his white half held back a smirk. "A friend of yours?"

Her mouth twisted slightly. "More like my next victim." She turned to head to their destination purposefully, him not questioning her motives and simply following with the smirk creeping unbidden to his face. Her hair was sopping wet along with her upper shirt but she didn't really care. They were going to spar and get all sweaty anyway, the water was actually a nice cool-down method. Well... she was still going to give that kid a piece of her mind.

When they arrived at the field, she sat down with a huff, undoing her hair as Zetsu sat at her right side. She shook her long, wet hair out frantically, wringing it out with a look of disgust. Zetsu couldn't help but chuckle at her expense, curious about her interesting new look. He hadn't seen her hair undone before, and he had no idea it could be so long. The wet mass clung to her back as she shrugged up at him, not knowing what to say. He glanced ahead to the field, trying hard to resist looking at that shiny, wet mess on her back. Something about that appealed to him, and he couldn't explain why. She looked out into the field as well, and his black half glared at his white half when the pale hand reached out to touch one of the loose wet strands. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I'm just looking."

She looked at him abruptly, the sudden exchange startling her. Her eyes glanced down at the white hand holding onto a lock of her damp hair, her eyebrow raising with curiosity. "It's alright, I don't mind." His hand still let go self-consciously though she had turned a bit more to look up at him. Green hair... yes, his hair was really green under all that shadow caused by the plant jaws. Such a curiosity. She reached up to touch his soft green hair, smiling as she did so. It felt strange, like soft wheat bristles.

He tensed, not knowing how to respond to such a strange affection. Never in his life had any female been within ten feet of him without actual combat going on. Even Konan had stayed her distance, though he knew she was comfortable around him. Every other person to come anywhere near him had either died, ran away, or stared uncomfortably. Then there was this one. From the day they met, she showed almost no fear, only a calm curiosity with some underlying tones of bold defiance. Every aspect about her catered to both his sides in some way. His darker half appreciated her talent with weapons and scrolls, her calm nature on the field and enthusiasm in battle. His lighter half praised her intelligence and curiosity, being versatile and yet carefree and exploratory. When her hand didn't pull away, still entwined with his hair, he reached back down and did the same with hers again.

The warm sun and the slow breeze was making her drowsy, not really in the mood for training anymore. Their hands both returned to their sides, though she leaned against him when her tired state took over. He shifted so his back was against a tree, looking down as she laid back against his chest, slightly amazed at how comfortable she was with him. Heck, he was amazed at hos comfortable he was with her. Usually his darker half would have started to cuss indignantly by now, starting up yet another long internal argument. He found it amusing that the dark half had actually fallen asleep under the warm sun, and his golden eye slowly closed as well, completely at peace for the first time in far too long.

* * *

When Zetsu woke, he found that Tenten had left some time ago. This wasn't unusual, she would often go off to meet with her team or do something else without him. He stretched lazily, standing to find his own source of entertainment until he met up with her again. The ramen shop was calling to him, so he made this the first stop of the moment, though when he entered he found Kisame sitting at a booth alone. That was a bit odd, the shark nin being nearly attached at the hip to the little sand nin ever since he got here. When Zetsu sat across from him, there was a moment of quiet silence before Kisame spoke.

"Yo, Zetsu. Where's that girl with the buns?"

His dark half scowled slightly though his light half tried to remain blank. "WE MIGHT ASK THE SAME ABOUT THE SAND NIN. She probably just went to see her friends. I was a bit curious about the sand nin as well... THEN ASK, ALREADY! I'm trying to be polite. YOU DISGUST ME."

Kisame merely shrugged. "Don't know. Business with the Hokage, sounded like. I hope she gets here pretty soon."

Zetsu never really had been good at figuring out relationships. His own comrades had been intimidated by his mere presence, with the exception of Kisame. The two demon-infused men had always had a strong connection simply because they understood how hard it was. He felt comfortable talking to the shark nin about most things, though when it came to this he hesitated, his dark half getting the better of him yet again. "JUST ASK IF YOU WANT TO KNOW, MORON. No, it's rude. THEN I WILL ASK FOR YOU! KISAME, WHAT EXACTLY IS THAT GIRL TO YOU ANYWAY? Don't ask it so bluntly! WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE JUMPED AT THE OPPORTUNITY I GAVE YOU. IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT. I suppose..."

Kisame wasn't thrown back by his blunt half, quite used to it after all the years they had worked together. He hesitated only slightly. "It's pretty weird how it all started. I hid out in the desert after the big fight went down. Who would have thought I would end up there, after all? Only an idiot would look for a shark in the desert, but fate has some weird sense of humor and she found me by accident! Things just... started to happen, and there I was, falling for her before I could even realize it." He shook his head with astonishment. "This sure as hell isn't where I would have thought I would be a few years back. But you know, although a lot of shit has happened to us, there's no way I'd go back now. She and I are not exactly the most expected pair, but who cares?"

"How did you... know you loved her?" His lighter half now took every opportunity, not letting his harsher side take advantage of a pause.

A dark blue eyebrow quirked up slyly, and that infamous grin spread across his face. "Ahhh I knew it, you like that little girl with all the toys. She's a spunky one, don't let her get you with those exploding spiked ones." He shuddered at the memory. Then he thought again. This was ZETSU he was talking about. Zetsu, the cold, reclusive CANNIBAL who seemed to be in love with that tiny female. Granted, she was a powerful, formidable kunoichi, but the sight of them together was just... hilarious! Then again, next to his giant shark self, he supposed that Temari looked just as amusing. He quieted his thoughts, answering Zetsu seriously. "Do you really think you're in love with her, Zetsu?"

Both shoulders shrugged. "It's... difficult to know. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT LOVE IS."

He nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, I know how that is. I'm blue, for crying out loud, and have you seen my gills and teeth lately? But you know, she never looked at me like I was some kind of monster. She was curious more than anything else. From the beginning, she figured out that I had a shark demon inside me and that caused my looks. She accepted me the way I was, looking beneath the underneath, you know? It was... weird." He grimaced, not really used to such profound thoughts.

Zetsu seemed to understand his meaning. "She never looked at us that way. TRUE, SHE WAS A BIT TOO CURIOUS AT FIRST THOUGH. I found it flattering. I FOUND IT ANNOYING! But you don't regret that we allowed it... NO, MAYBE NOT..." He hesitated slightly, avoiding Kisame's penetrating gaze. "When we found her in the woods, she was shocked but then... THEN SHE REACHED OUT AND TOUCHED US. That was a bit strange, I'll agree on that. And you know, I don't think she was scared at all."

Kisame nodded with a grin. "See, that's exactly what I mean. She accepted you the way you are. I bet she likes you just as much as you like her. You should tell her."

Both halves frowned slightly. "But how?"

"That's the hard part, I guess, though with me it happened strangely. Meet with her alone somewhere you both feel comfortable in. Let things happen the way they happen."

"LET THINGS HAPPEN? What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "It's hard to explain. Sometimes the tension just... builds until you find yourself doing something, like putting a hand on her shoulder or her looking at you strangely. Small stuff." His hand set his chopsticks down, the empty bowl of ramen sitting in front of him. "You don't have to do much, just make sure she knows you care."

He stood quietly, leaning his upper body into a nod. "THIS IS DIFFICULT. Thank you, Kisame. I'll try and follow your advice."

His hand extended in a wave at his friend's back. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

"THAT ISN'T SAYING MUCH." He smirked at this exchange between them and left the ramen house, intent on finding her again. Her chakra left a light trail for him to follow, the sun setting slowly in the late afternoon.

xXx

It was nearly dusk before he found her at the training field - again - practicing with her wide array of weapons on a helpless post. One kunai went astray and in his direction as his sudden appearance distracted her, though he caught it in his hand deftly. With a small smile, he returned it to her hilt first. "CAREFUL WITH THOSE TOYS OF YOURS. You have excellent aim, though."

She smiled and shook her head, her hair still down around her shoulders. Once it had gotten wet, it never really did set right in those buns again. "Sorry, but I guess I knew you would catch it. I've been trying to learn a new technique, it's been bothering me for days!"

He approached her and sat on top of the short post she had been splintering to death, leaning to look at her. "What technique are you considering?"

"Well, I was trying to use my chain to launch hundreds of senbon at the target, but I keep losing it at the last minute, so I was trying something larger like kunai for starters."

"May I see it?"

She was a bit puzzled by only his light half speaking, and it seemed like his dark half was inwardly brooding about something. "Alright, I'll try again." Her hand drew out her chain and the senbon, twisting the sharp needles through the links and curling the chain, aiming at another post in the distance. Just as before, her hand couldn't get the angle quite right and the senbon fell uselessly on the ground.

He came up behind her and glanced down at the chain. The large links and the gaps between were far too large to hold senbon, and he looked through the other items on the ground before spotting a small linked chain, short but more useful. "Here, try this one."

She instantly saw what the problem was and thanked him, shoving the senbon into the smaller links carefully, flicking it towards the post as hundreds of senbon shot straight into the wood of the post. She nodded briskly. "Now that's the way it's supposed to work!" Her look was defiant and confident at the same time, her eyes lighting with an inner glow as the orange light from the setting sun lit them even further. He could feel his stomach tense just by watching.

His composure returned slowly, not moving from the close proximity. Now he understood what Kisame meant by "things just happen" and wondered if he really did love this girl. He still had so much to learn from this world even as old as he was, and he was intent on learning what this love concept was about. Something kicked in as his old instincts came forth, telling him exactly what he was supposed to do at a time like this. Just looking at her beaming expression and her sense of self satisfaction made him feel just as bold and risky as she did, and without a thought his pale hand tugged at her waist and -what the hell was he DOING?- he kissed her suddenly, tense and not really sure if she would pull away with a disgusted look on her face or just stare awkwardly until he regretted it.

She was shocked, of course. From the start she had always felt strangely comfortable with him, his quiet, polite side always perfectly complementing his blunt, rude side. To his surprise, as well as hers, she didn't pull away or feel the least bit disgusted, her hand resting on his white cheek gently as she let him kiss her, kissing him back. This was certainly the most unexpected yet not unwelcome thing he had ever done yet, she thought to herself. He had always been polite and caring. Even his dark half had a grudging respect and accepted her slowly. But now both halves of the same mouth seemed to agree with the same action. So this is what he truly thought of her. She oddly found herself agreeing, the odd fondness they had developed before deepening subtly in the small moment they stole together.

* * *

A/N: Hey, well, I'm done for now, hopefully I left on a good note for all of you who wanted a little action! This IS Zetsu we're talking about, after all. He kinda warms up slowly, so I had to give him a little time to adjust. And hopefully the next chapter will be a little quicker in coming. I've been considering writing a new fan fic with an original character taking a major part in the story. I know, it's risky. Original characters are a tricky business, but as you can tell I love a challenge. I did Zetsu/Tenten for crying out loud! Maybe it's worth a shot. Please leave feedback and discuss.


	9. A Mystery Still

Oh this poor, neglected fan fic! Sorry again. I just find it so difficult to write these two properly. Ah well. Hey, I hope you all are reading Sand in the Water along with this fic. It kinda tells things from Kisame's point of view, it's pretty fun!

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Part 9 - "A mystery still"

* * *

Tenten thought that Zetsu would be a little reclusive after that strange moment on the field. Oddly enough, he couldn't have been more talkative. He had even bothered to ask what nobody else had asked her before- What is your last name? Fujiyami Tenten, of course. He then remarked that she appeared to be of Chinese origin and not Japanese like everyone else in the area, but then she turned to grin at him. "Well, Sakura doesn't exactly look Japanese either, so who's to say I'm not?" Nobody had ever asked these kinds of questions about her. Heck, nobody knew she was 18. They all assumed she was 15 like every other person from the Rookie Nine. Yeah right.

He smiled and nodded to her as they walked along the main road. "I guess you're right." His white side had done all of the talking ever since they left the field, his dark half no doubt still in too much shock to say anything. The full moon lit the path ahead of them in a misty white shade, the silent streets lit up with glowing colored lanterns. Few people were out in the evenings, though the few that wandered around were closing up shop or catering to night workers. In only a few days, the cherry blossom festival would be held here in the main square, celebrating the beginning of spring. The country of fire was constantly a mild climate, and spring felt much like any other season. Snow was a rarity.

The budding cherry trees lined the streets, clinging to the packed earth as their branches dangled over the tops of the shop stalls. Their bark glowed orange and pink in the lantern light, the slow rustling of leaves being one of the few sounds joining the noise of shop owners preparing for the Konoha night life. Tenten had her own small apartment just like the other Konoha shinobi. She had initially shared it with Zetsu while he was on probation, the second bedroom finally coming to some use. As soon as she entered, she tossed her large scroll to the corner along with her pack.

He followed right after her, hanging his custom made dark green coat. His large plant jaws had made it impossible to wear anything that had no modification, but fortunately he seemed to manage like always. She headed to the kitchen for a quick snack and yelled back over her shoulder. "Hey, do you want anything?"

"No, I'm alright. WE NEED A SHOWER. That sounds like a good idea." He knew by now that he could help himself to whatever he might need without asking, and he entered her bathroom precariously, making sure the large jaws didn't knock down the hanging shower rod. In past days, he had knocked that thing down probably five times before learning to duck. Fortunately it was now a habit and he left his clothes on the counter, trying to think to himself while the water ran down his skin. So many unusual things had happened ever since the fall of Akatsuki. He had found this strange young woman, and now he was feeling things he wasn't even sure he was capable of feeling before. It seemed so long ago now that he had seen full humans as little more than his next meal, but now things had changed. He had changed.

Why was he changing after so many years of staying the same? How was it that he was no longer content with the way he was? Even his darker half inwardly agreed that he felt that this change wasn't completely unwelcome. Maybe this was what he needed to finally feel accepted by someone. True, he had been tolerated by Akatsuki, and even accepted by a few such as the leader and Kisame, but he hadn't truly felt welcome. This woman, though... all she had been afraid of at first was what his former cloak had represented. As soon as he tossed the organization aside, she stood by him curiously even though he had eaten those enemy shinobi right in front of her. She sure was something else.

He finished with the shower and dried off quickly, changing to a second pair of clothes he had grabbed on the way in. As soon as he exited, he nearly ran into her as she moved around him, intending to take her own shower. His bulky jaws made it difficult to move in the narrow doorway and she moved to the side, letting him pass. While she was busy with her shower, he went into his borrowed bedroom and sat back against the headboard on his bed, still deep in thought with the inner conflict raging. What would he do now that they had made their true feelings known? His darker half was STILL in shock that he had done such a thing, but his lighter half knew that they both enjoyed it and wanted the curious exploration to continue. How, though? Did she even want to do such a thing?

His inner debate was cut off minutes later when she opened the bathroom door, finished with the shower. She had changed into her usual night clothes, a simple t-shirt and loose pants. He sat up and looked as she entered his room, looking thoughtful as she ran her fingers through her damp hair. What was she thinking about? The moonlight shone through the window pane, the other lights out as soon as she had turned off the sole lamp in the bathroom. Her face glowed pale as she came closer, sitting nearby on his bed.

She hesitated for a moment, her head turning aside before looking up again, her ebony hair spilling down over one shoulder. "Zetsu? I'm... curious about something."

He leaned a bit closer, his white side smiling. "It seems you're always curious about something."

She nodded, blushing slightly, not meeting his gaze. "It's just... What do we do now?"

He understood what she meant by that. "I've been wondering the same thing."

Her eyes finally met his, still uncertain. "Why did you kiss me?"

That one he really didn't know how to answer. "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WONDERING! I really don't know why. IT IS SOMEWHAT LIKE KISAME SAID... Oh, yes." He paused, not sure how to word this. "Kisame told us that when he was with Temari, things just... happened, sometimes without warning. THAT'S WHEN HE SAID THAT HE FIGURED OUT THAT HE LOVED HER. I didn't really understand what he meant until earlier."

She nodded slowly and watched him casually. "So... do you love me?" His blank look told her that he wasn't even sure what such an emotion was. Well, it was to be expected. He may have been a wise person, but that didn't mean he knew everything. After all, he had been born with a very active demon inside him. It might even be the demon that came out in the form of his black side, its active presence constantly being known. This wasn't at all like Kisame's passive demon possession. That meant that even more so than Kisame, Zetsu was probably an outcast from the day he was born. How could he know what love was? He probably never even got that much from his parents. She reached out and leaned on his knee reassuringly. "I don't know if it makes a difference, but I think... in some strange way, I feel that way about you. I know you probably don't know what love is about, but I also know that what happened before wasn't an accident. You really acted out of a genuine emotion, and I think that's what really matters. That sort of real feeling can only be love, see?"

After a moment, he nodded, understanding her logic. "THAT MAKES SENSE. Then if what I was feeling caused me to do that... maybe I do love you. This is so strange..."

She shook her head, leaning just a bit closer. "I know, it seems a bit odd to me too. Don't you sense it, though? I know you don't feel uncomfortable around me like you do with almost anyone else." Her eyes boldly met his gaze, trying to make her point known through her ambitious nature. "That's the problem, Zetsu." Her hand rested on the tooth of one of his plant jaws, looking beyond to the person behind. "They don't look beneath the surface." She closed the minimal distance between them, her lips meeting his this time, her other hand bravely touching his dark half. The restraints on his reserve must have been broken by her audacity, now that he responded to her kiss with his own. Normally his dark half would have attacked anyone that dared to touch that particular side, but this person was something different to him.

She was right, people just didn't look beneath the surface. However, she saw what no other person had bothered to look for, and in retrospect, he had done the exact same thing. Really, had he been the only person to bother to ask her last name? Was he the only one who cared enough about her to treat her as an equal and not just a teammate? Even her old teammates didn't seem to miss her, going on with their training and everything else as if she had never been there in the first place. Maybe that was what she saw in him, someone that would look beyond the surface and into the true self inside.

He didn't need to say anything to let her know his thoughts. Most of their time together had been spent in quiet contemplation, enjoying the odd, easy going days out in the warm sunshine, the long lazy hours passing by slowly. Even now he didn't need to speak, communicating through action. He pulled her up slightly by the waist, angling so he could reach her better, throwing any restrictions he had out the window. She put her arms around his neck, close enough to be halfway past the massive green jaws. This was the first time he had ever allowed anyone to be that close to him. Normally he would get nervous at the thought of close contact with anything still living, but yet again she surprised him.

She couldn't believe she was doing this, but nothing about it felt wrong. Strange, definitely, but not at all wrong. He was still a person deep down, somewhere past the demon possessed mind. Maybe she was also someone else deep down. She had always been the happy, outgoing type, but nobody really seemed to notice her. Inside, that made her feel unwanted and misunderstood. Everyone noticed Zetsu, but always in a less than friendly manner. Both of them were struggling with acceptance, getting nothing from anyone- until now.

* * *

A/N: What can I say, it's short.


	10. Sometimes it's best not to ask

A/N: Sorry... haha. I kinda forgot about this fic until someone reviewed lately. Wow. Yeah. Hope you aren't too mad, I haven't been well. I'm not doing a pairing of Konan and Kakashi by the way, haha. No no, they're just friends. Good grief.

* * *

Part 10 - Sometimes it's best not to ask

* * *

She finished off the last bit of her preparations just as the sun reached mid-morning, the cherry blossom festival in full swing. On this day, everyone wore traditional kimono and celebrated the festival during the height of the day, often going on well into the night. Her own kimono was crimson with gold dragons twisting around the base and she wondered what she was going to do about Zetsu. He was still watching from the corner of the room, wearing the same green jacket he had modified days ago. Although, it wouldn't be expected of him to wear what the other men wore, though. It wasn't like they could conjure up THAT too. At least he didn't really seem to mind, as long as they had fun.

A sharp knock at the door startled her, and she rushed over to open it, Kisame grinning wide on the other side. "Yo, kid." He had found a very large traditional man's kimono for the occasion, though she had no idea how. His smirk redirected to Zetsu and the shark held out a small bag in his general direction. "Yo, Zetsu. Thought you might need this."

Zetsu slunk from the shadows, meeting his friend with a short nod, taking the small bag curiously. Inside was another large modified kimono in deep greens and blacks. "This is... **for us?**"

Kisame's grin grew even wider. "Yeah, I talked to a few people around here. Turns out I can be pretty persuasive. Don't worry about it, I just wanted you to look the part!"

The plant nin hardly knew what to say. Very few people had ever done anything nice for him, so he didn't really know what to do. "...thank you. I hope you didn't have to pay too much for this. **He probably persuaded them with a kunai.** No no, I'm sure that isn't what happened..."

The shark held his hands up in mock defense. "Hey, I don't do that anymore! Not to allies, anyway. Nah, I've been getting paid for my missions, and I know you haven't gotten anything you didn't specifically need, so I thought I'd help out a friend, you know?"

He paused. A friend? Yes, they were friends, he supposed, though between the old Akatsuki missions and everything else going on, they had little time to chat. The grass nin had always been away on scouting missions while the shark had often been away with Itachi. However, whenever the two had a moment, they would often discuss things that only demon possessed men could really understand. What was the meaning of life, why had they been born that way, why did nobody even look at them, that sort of thing. Now that they were in the same village and saw each other almost every day, it really felt like they could be friends. "Yes, thank you. I'll be sure to repay the favor."

Kisame waved dismissively. "Nah, don't worry about it. Just go out there and have fun. That will be plenty of repayment, alright?"

"...alright. We'll be sure to meet you there."

* * *

Pink blossoms filled the scenery as the wind shifted through the trees. While the festival was on down below, a solitary figure tapped his knee thoughtfully, crouched in the top of a tree just outside the village border. If any time was the perfect time, it would be now. He wasn't sure if any of the old team had ended up here, but this place had been his target anyway. Yes, he thought, go have your fun. Enjoy this day, it would be the last.

* * *

Zetsu brushed another shower of petals off his sleeve for the hundredth time that afternoon, the tiny things scattering everywhere. Tenten leaned over the bridge in the middle of town, the place often a meeting place for the old genin teams. They didn't really feel like joining the main crowd that went along the outskirts of the forest, and so they had come here to glance out at the river. This was the place for so many old events. As she stared out at the water, she heard a soft set of footsteps behind her. When she turned around, Sakura was there carting around her own charges, pinching her nose with frustration.

"Would you guys just SHUT UP ALREADY?" She was leading the pack, consisting of Deidara, Sasuke, Karin, Hinata and a trailing Kakashi. At the back, it looked like Kakashi had definitely had enough of the constant bickering. Why had he come along again?

Sasuke only snorted and glared. "It isn't my fault that he's an idiot."

Deidara clenched his teeth and sneered. "You're the idiot, yeah. You can't even begin to understand the finer points of art!"

Karin glared. "Stop insulting Sasuke-kun!"

"He's the one that insulted my art, bitch, yeah!"

Sasuke closed his eyes with irritation. "Your views on art are pointless. Fleeting or not, the only thing that can possibly be art is intricate planning."

"Plans are stupid. Spontaneous things are much more surprising and more likely to catch someone off guard, yeah. Who needs a plan when you have the element of surprise?"

"You can still have the element of surprise if you plan properly."

"If your plans get ruined though, you're screwed. Then what, yeah?"

"You simply make a new plan."

"Yeah, a new plan, on the spot, spontaneously! You see? Sometimes it's good to not have a plan, yeah."

"No, it's always good to have a plan. When you formulate a plan, you are less likely to be distracted by alternate methods of executing your goal. That way you can't be drawn down an incorrect path."

"...good grief, you're a moron."

Sakura suddenly turned around and fumed. "I SAID SHUT UP! If I hear ONE more word about art or planning, I swear I will punch both of you into the river!"

Sai seemed to appear out of nowhere on the other end of the bridge, greeting them impassively. "Good afternoon. Here, Sakura-san. I made some art for the festival." He smiled his usual fake smile, holding out a scroll obliviously. Meanwhile, Sakura, never wanting to hear about art again, turned to glare at him instead.

"You..." Her hand shook angrily. "GET OUT! Get out of my way!"

He only smiled again. "Whatever you say... hag."

"...SHANNARO!" She sent him flying high into the sky with a chakra enhanced punch, glaring around to see who would talk next. Deidara glanced to the side nervously. Sasuke stared coldly. Karin gulped. Hinata hid. Kakashi sweat-dropped. Tenten and Zetsu had both already turned back to looking away, not wanting to know. Before long, Sakura's rage simmered to a small fizz, venting as she led the group onward. As the little pack moved on, Kakashi stopped briefly.

"I don't think I want to follow her anymore. She's scary..."

Tenten finally turned around. "Yeah, that was... bad. I guess this is how it's been for the past few days?"

He shook his head. "No, worse. Damn but she's hot-headed nowadays. Tsunade has been both a good and bad influence on her..."

"She's just growing up." With a small smile, she shrugged up at him. "We all are, I suppose. I know it's hard for you to think about, but we're all adults now. Things aren't the way they used to be."

He looked back down the bridge reflectively. "No... I guess they aren't."

Zetsu finally broke the silence. "Where's Konan?"

Kakashi snapped back from his thoughts, turning to shrug. "Tsunade-sama is watching over her right now, so I don't know. She seems a bit better, now that she has a few friends around. It's still hard, though. When I left, though, she said she sensed a storm coming, though I can't sense anything for miles. Even our best weather sensers couldn't come up with a thing."

Tenten tilted her head sideways, thinking it over. "Maybe she didn't mean a literal storm."

"That may be, but... well, there's still a festival going on, and I must do my duty." He waved casually, lazily heading down the path, still wearing his jounin outfit despite everyone else in full kimono. That was Kakashi, after all.

* * *

Konan was walking through the bustling square next to Tsunade, both in kimono for the festival. Everyone milling about seemed so oblivious to the coming storm. Even Tsunade seemed unaffected. Was she the only one that felt the odd pressure? Surely it was women's intuition, but if that was all, then surely at least Tsunade should seem uneasy. No, maybe this was something that only she could understand. She paused suddenly, stopping in the middle of the square. There it was again. That odd feeling of being watched. No wonder nobody else noticed... With so many people around, EVERYONE was being watched, really. However, she could tell the difference between indifferent eyes and eyes that sought specifically her, wanted her blood, wanted more than that. She knew those eyes anywhere.

Tsunade stopped soon after, looking back to see Konan's eyes wide, her body shaking visibly. Before she could ask what was wrong, a sudden blur of black shot from nowhere, at Konan's side in an instant. Cold red eyes glared sideways, the man's choppy black hair trailing over them haphazardly. Tsunade's blood ran cold the moment she saw him. She knew him, though they had only met a few times when she was a child. Her grandfather's friend... but why? Why did he still look so young? True, she had gone to great lengths to keep her own appearances, but he couldn't have her talents.

Everyone in the square belatedly realized the deadly intent of the stranger, running away in a panic. Madara barely seemed to notice, his intent gaze only on Konan, his mouth twisting in a sneer. "So you thought you could get away, huh? You thought that those clones would distract me? No, I may have slipped up, but now I won't make that mistake again. I found you, and you're mine." Tsunade launched a chakra powered punch in his direction, but it seemed as if an entire part of his body disappeared as she hit, her punch useless. Though she tried valiantly again and again, he only dodged, taking the blue haired kunoichi with him. Konan struggled against his grip, despite the tight choke hold he had her in, gaining enough breath to form a quick hand seal.

"Ninja art, paper replacement!" She disappeared from his grasp, leaving him with a paper replica of herself. He tossed the clone aside furiously, glaring at the scattering crowd, instantly alert. When she materialized again, he had both kunoichi punching, kicking, and sending paper animals in his direction. His body, over and over, seemed to disappear into nowhere, evading their every effort. Before long, he knocked Tsunade aside, the Godaime unconscious for the moment. His hand went to Konan's throat, holding her high in the air, preventing her from escaping.

"I don't think so, little girl. Your lover may have been able to hold me back before, but no more. Nothing will stop me! You know better than to mess with an immortal god..."

She edged out of his grasp enough to speak. "You're no god... you are just a man."

His grip tightened. He would have said something scathing, but before he could react, the sky darkened suddenly, sharp lightning scraping the clouds. Odd... he hadn't sensed any rain for miles, how... Then the rain fell, laced with a sinister dark chakra he hadn't felt in so long. As soon as his blood ran cold and he froze, suddenly a hand was at his own throat, causing him to release Konan. Malevolent ringed eyes suddenly met the corner of his own. This didn't make sense... he had seen the man's body, why wasn't he dead? This one... no, wait, this one has black hair. Nagato... of course. The body he had seen had been the aspect of Yahiko. That body had been one of Pein's favorites, rarely seen in any other form, still clinging to his childhood friend. Seeing that one dead had led him to assume... He wouldn't make that mistake again.

Pein clung tightly, not letting the other have enough concentration to escape. He knew that escape jutsu well enough by now to know how to counter it. "Indeed, you are but a man, as am I. However, she is still my angel, and I will defend her to my final breath." His grip tightened, choking the man mercilessly, though he noticed that the lady Hokage was slowly regaining consciousness. At the edge of his senses, he felt a few other high ranking shinobi hurrying to his location. "Madara... now is not the time nor the place for our fight. Name when and where you will, but it will not be near a city again. I will not allow this. Name it." His grip loosened enough to allow the man to speak.

Madara grinned, his voice hoarse. "Very well. I will not attack until after we meet again. I may be dishonorable, but I will keep my word. How about the Valley of the End? It seems to be a popular showdown location..."

Pein didn't miss the irony in the man's voice in the least. "Quite true. Very well. I will meet you there in one week. Make whatever preparations you will, but do not attack anyone. I will hear of it if you do, believe me. I have more eyes and ears than you can imagine." Beside him, Konan shakily rose to her feet, still unable to understand what was happening.

"So that's how you knew I would be here..."

"No. I came here merely on a hunch. Though you never knew it, I made a promise to meet with Konan in Kumogakure, should anything happen to me. She must have gone there as a last resort, and when I came to look for her, I found traces of your chakra. I had no idea where you might have gone, but I suspected that you still had a grudge against Leaf. Even if it is by chance... I can't help but wonder if it was by someone's intervention that this occurred..." He let go of Madara, the man collapsing on the ground. "Go. Do what you must, but we will face off again. Get out." The Uchiha glared from his position, though in an instant he vanished again, his silent promise filling the air. Just as he vanished from sight, the Hokage also rose to her feet, soon accompanied by other shinobi.

Well... wasn't this a sight? Before him was most of his old organization, Kisame, Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu... how had this happened? True, he had no idea what Zetsu did after he fled Amegakure with Konan, nor Kisame. Wasn't Kakuzu supposed to be dead? True, Hidan had only been buried but... no matter. As for these others, he knew them only from the bingo books. The copy nin, followed by... Deidara? No, he had blown himself up... hadn't he? That girl, the pink haired one... the one that killed Sasori. Yes, he knew that one. The little one with dark hair tied in two buns... he knew that one from Kisame's description. The tension amongst everyone present was palpable.

He stood poised, ready for anything. Konan put her hand on his arm, looking up at him. "You're alive..."

He jumped suddenly, drawn out of the tension by sudden calm. "Konan..." He looked back at the others, tensing nervously. "...did they help you?"

"Yes... Ever since Zetsu brought me here, they have helped me. This place is so much different from home. Please don't hurt them."

Zetsu stepped forth, not at all afraid of potential backlash. He nodded courteously, maintaining a safe distance. "**We were certain you died.** Although, it was hard to be certain. Madara held her hostage in Kumogakure. **We were there initially to do a normal scouting mission, but when we neared the village, we sensed both of them. **We intervened and brought her here."

Pein seemed confused for a moment, but then noticed the Konoha headband dangling around Zetsu's neck. "So you are allied with this village. Why?"

The plant nin paused for a long moment, only coming with one simple answer. "Only once you have truly been here could you ever understand why."

* * *

A/N: Uh... well I'm done. Yay.


End file.
